If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
