Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
