Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Randomize
