Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
