I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
