dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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