I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
