He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
