I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
