I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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