And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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