Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
