ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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