I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
