when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
