Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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