Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
