She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
