Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
tell me about the fingering
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