dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
