next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
