just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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