There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
