new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I will pee on everything he values.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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