Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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