Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
