We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
