Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
