i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
