On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
