thus making me awesome and them whores
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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