sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
