I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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