this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
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