My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
