Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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