do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
