I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
