Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
