HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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