No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
