I don't think brook has ever known best
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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