I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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