my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
