I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
