I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
