This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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