bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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