"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
