she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
