And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
