Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize